OK I will say upfront, I am not an expert on this subject. But I do have a story with opinions.
When I was diagnosed with MS my boyfriend of a few years didn’t handle this diagnosis very well. As a matter of fact I think he was as scared as I was. Just 2 months after my diagnosis he decided he didn’t love me anymore. I was devastated; I felt like a piece of trash that someone threw away and put out on the curb. It hurt so much.
I talk to him sometimes (he doesn’t deserve my time) but I just needed to know why it happened. He realized he did love me but he was afraid of the future. What a stupid man. When I look back, it was a good thing because he wouldn’t be the right person for me now in this new body. I now needed someone in my life that was as positive as I was moving forward (and believe me it took awhile and I still have bad days).
I got brave one time and tried online dating. I met this man in a restaurant and he seemed really nice but very much into himself and suddenly I realized it just wouldn’t work out with him. I just didn’t like him anymore and we wouldn’t be a good match. So I used my MS to scare him off, yes I did (it should be good for something). He asked me about my cane and I proceeded to tell him all the horror stories of MS. He politely listened and I can see in his face we would never see each other again and that was a good thing. Tee hee hee I am so evil sometimes lol.
I am not dating by choice but I have my opinion about dating with MS. I really think you should be upfront with your illness in a positive way, not horror stories but give general information if asked. Again I can not say this anymore, BE POSITIVE on how you are dealing with your illness and how you see yourself in the future because you never never know how things can be for you, for anyone, things can change in an instant and it doesn’t mean it will be negative. Just because you have MS it doesn’t mean you will be in a wheelchair. I don’t think you should hide it because then it will be something you are ashamed of or afraid of and fear can be crippling in itself. I know if someone hid it from me I would feel like I was betrayed, like you didn’t think of me enough to tell me something so essential. Being honest is so important in any relationship so starting this way is an awesome thing. Just remember, everyone has something and you have MS. Would you be upset if someone you were dating had diabetes, four fingers on their right hand or blind in one eye? Think about this. If your partner doesn’t run away then that will be a starting point of a good relationship. And if he runs away, it is meant to be because you really don’t want anyone in your life that is so shallow and someone else will come along that doesn’t run and it will be awesome.
So I say, let them run. Karma is such a bitch!
