Chemicals, Side Effects, Pesticides & 4 Hour Erections! Oh My!

Ok I hate them hate them hate them.  I am talking about those white packets you get with your drugs, reading the back of anything you buy from drain cleaner drugs to food.  After reading those labels I promise I won’t drink drain cleaner, put a knife in the toaster or use the product is the seal if broken.  Ok have you ever read about what is in your food?  Do you even know half of what it is all those big words?  I don’t know about you but it just makes me wonder what it does and how it affects me.  My daughter recently went Vegan, totally organic.  It seems like the right thing to do thinking about all the pesticides now in our food and the whole GMO thing about adding chemicals in our food to make them grow faster, bigger and better.  UGH!  I was recently reading my popcorn box which should be mild with chemicals and they add “mixed tocopherols for freshness”.  What am I putting in my body and was this the start of my MS whacking my immune system with a baseball bat?  This is awful and why isn’t anyone stopping this?

Catheter Travels! Yes, I am really saying this…. I’m telling you my ugly truth - Catheters, those evil expensive things

Catheter Travels

Yes, I am really saying this…. I’m telling you my ugly truth - Catheters, those evil expensive things.  I don’t have the same problem that everyone else has (leakage only); I have to use those devil things that I now must to learn to love.  UGH. I wanted to give them another name but nothing rhymed with UGH, so they are, you know, sticks.  But now, I have both issues, I leak and cant pee.  There has to be a place in hell for this.  OK, does this mean I can’t have those trips with the girls to the little girls’ room, together like the old days? Do I now have to stand up and pee? DAM.

Anyway, my first trip to the urologist I was told that I needed to catherized myself at least 4 to 5 times a day since I was getting those wonderful UTI’s, and you all know what kind of fun that is and how it loves to give you wonderful MS symptoms.  Great.  No worries, it’s easy (right, you are really making me better now Doctor).  So they give me a picture of my privates, yes a drawing like I didn’t know what it looked like and where to put it.  It looked like I should color it and hang it on my wall.   I never in my life thought it would be so hard to find that hole lol.  I have used mirrors (I felt so stupid) but I now know where to find it and I am so sorry I didn’t listen in Health class but it is a lot easier if I was a man.

You have saved my life & helped my MS: thank you to the Post It Company

Post -Its

To anyone who has MS, need I say more?  Right now I am looking at my kitchen table, refrigerator and counter.  I have really a million posts- its showing what I need to do everyday.  In my bathroom I have a ton of them as well.  I never can see my face (which is good, I really don’t want to; I want to keep the dream of my 30’s still alive.).  I really should have bought stocks in this company.  It would have helped me a lot financially today.

Anyway, this is not a rant but a thank you.  Your tiny pieces of paper have become my brain.  Every time I think of anything I need to remember, I need to do or appointments before I can organize them on my calendar (my calendar if a different story), these memories go there.  I just stick them and don’t have to think of them until I see them.  In doing that I can now go on with my life and not have to worry about forgetting things.  This helps me in ways that normal people would not understand.  This has become my life.  I really have bad cognition now.

I have often thought about wallpapering my kitchen and living room with these papers.  I can do a multicolored theme, one for spring, winter, fall and summer using all these colors.  It would be so cool, my brain would be everywhere for everyone to see.

I also use them to write 3 things I can accomplish everyday.  As I do them I cross them off, this way I can see what I have done.  This helps me to feel like I am moving forward.  If I am not feeling well it can be little things like taking a shower, wiping down a counter or getting dressed.  When I feel better it can be little harder things like dusting, laundry, etc.  I see things getting done and that fact makes my mood more positive.  If by chance I can’t do one or two things on that list, I just ripe up that post it and make a new one by moving the things I haven’t completed and add some more to make those 3 things.  This task has helped me for the last 13 years.

So

Carry on.
thank you to the Post It Company.  You have saved my life.

My New MS Income

It is hard sometimes working full time and having MS at the same time.  I’ve done it and tried to do it with the best of my distorted abilities.  I made good money at one time; I could trade in my trucks or cars and get a new one, I could eat, pay my bills, go on vacations or even move where I wanted to go.  Then came MS; this thing that I had to share my body with.  I really tried to keep working but it came a time where I had to file that thing…. That thing is Social Security.

 I had heard it was so hard to qualify, that it took lawyers, lots of tries etc to get accepted.  I really don’t understand this because I did put my hard earned money into this fund.  But I did it, I filed by myself.  A few months later I got that call and was set up with an appointment with a case manager from the social security office.  We went through all the questions and when it was done they said they would notify me by mail if I was accepted.  Two, yes I said TWO weeks later I got a letter in the mail that I was accepted and it told me how much money I would make monthly and when that money would be deposited into my checking account.  What a relief and I couldn’t believe it, I was getting social security. Then it smacked me in the face….. I must be really sick.   At that moment I was scared.  Now I can take the next step, I can get on with my life. 

Now comes the rants -   I reread the letter, I was to get this $$$$$, huh?  This money wi

"I hate the heat! This heat slurs my words-gives me fatigue...Bad Bowels

I hate the heat1  I mean I really hate the heat.  I have to backtrack here for a bit so bear with me.

I was diagnosed with MS in August of 2000 having symptoms for 14 years.  I was diagnosed with everything under the sun before this happened, Epstein Bar Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue, Ulna constriction (which I have had 3 elbow surgeries), compressed discs in my neck(2 surgeries) and Hypoglycemia.    Well anyway, I was diagnosed with MS in San Francisco (I know about this because my neurologist gave me a MSbook to help me understand what it  was) and moved to Monterey, California.  It was cold and damp.  You think hot is bad, try cold and damp.  Anyway I got this wild hair and decided to move closer to my son in Arizona.  OK, that’s a good idea because in Monterey I could never get warm (everyone thought 80 degrees was a heat wave), so Arizona would be warm and I would love it.

What was I thinking #^%#(&^)^)(&_&*.

OK, yes it is a dry heat (and I want to hit the person who said that)   It is HOT.  I have actually wanted to crack an egg and put it out on my patio to see what would happen.