Wednesday, July 3, 2013

My New MS Income

It is hard sometimes working full time and having MS at the same time.  I’ve done it and tried to do it with the best of my distorted abilities.  I made good money at one time; I could trade in my trucks or cars and get a new one, I could eat, pay my bills, go on vacations or even move where I wanted to go.  Then came MS; this thing that I had to share my body with.  I really tried to keep working but it came a time where I had to file that thing…. That thing is Social Security.

 I had heard it was so hard to qualify, that it took lawyers, lots of tries etc to get accepted.  I really don’t understand this because I did put my hard earned money into this fund.  But I did it, I filed by myself.  A few months later I got that call and was set up with an appointment with a case manager from the social security office.  We went through all the questions and when it was done they said they would notify me by mail if I was accepted.  Two, yes I said TWO weeks later I got a letter in the mail that I was accepted and it told me how much money I would make monthly and when that money would be deposited into my checking account.  What a relief and I couldn’t believe it, I was getting social security. Then it smacked me in the face….. I must be really sick.   At that moment I was scared.  Now I can take the next step, I can get on with my life. 

Now comes the rants -   I reread the letter, I was to get this $$$$$, huh?  This money wi
ll not cover my rent, food, gas, bills.  Vacations, just a dream now – I mean how could I even save up for one?  Gases goes up in a blink of an eye and let’s talk about rents.  During my working days I never really bought a house even when I could.  I always thought I had more time to really get something in an area I loved so I waited.  So I rent now and with the money I get I cant afford really anything here in Arizona in a good area and I definitely know NOT in California.  Everything around me is going up and it costs more for groceries, utilities (I am saved with my electric bill because in Arizona I can get discounted electric because I have MS which cuts the bill almost in half) but really?  How does anyone expect people to live on this salary which only goes up $25.00 a month to compensate for the rising cost of living? 

I now share a rental home in a good neighborhood with my EX-HUSBAND, who kindly came out FROM CALIFORNIA to help because he couldn’t afford to live on his SOCIAL SECURITY so we have to band together to live now.  I have to say this is so hard for the both of us.  And even with combined income we struggle everyday to pay bills and eat.  What is wrong with this big picture?  We are not on drugs, it is not that we don’t want to work (I tried and failed).  I would give anything to go back to work again and not struggle anymore.  Talk about making MS worse with such stress every month.  I pay my bills the day I get paid, it is called my Financial Diarrhea day, money goes in and then money goes out with not much to work with.

OK now you get caught in this money struggle as well with your multiple doctors, visits with these doctors, tests/MRI’S and the multiple drugs they want to put you on.  Now they make it easier on you and say to take these vitamins or probiotics but THIS IS OUT OF POCKET now so in the end it makes it worse on you financially because it does not go through the insurance company you pay premiums for.  I have Medicare now with a secondary insurance carrier.  I can’t even tell you how much I have to pay each time I get a prescription or get a bill from a doctor.  So I call them and make payments every month.  OK people I said I have two, yes 2 insurances for my drugs and primary care.  Then I pay for it monthly.  Then I grant them my first born just to have them (not really but I do think about letting them have all my blood).

Drug Companies and Insurance Companies, I really really hate them all.  Drug companies are taking advantage of people who are really ill by hiking up the cost of drugs and the insurance companies getting mad and changing the way they cover you which ends up costing you more for everything that helps you function everyday.  Talk about evil.  I know a drug rep that gets a bonus every year by getting a ticket for 2 for an all expense paid two week vacation anywhere she wants to go in the world with $10,000 per person spending money and I want to scream so LOUD!!!  REALLY.  I just get physically ill thinking about it.

OK I better get out of this rant and find my happy place.  Carry on.